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The night air beckons me to come out and play. The night brings out the stars, guiding my way. But you, you with nothing to say, You will be gone with the night, yet with you, I'll stay.
:">
I was 5, I think, when I learned how to ride a bike. I don't even remember who taught me...but when I look back, I see images of my grandma pushing the two-wheeled disaster I called my bike on. I pedaled on and on. When I looked back, she wasn't there behind me anymore. I was on my own.
It was all very scary, at first. Just because there was no one to guide me. I was in control. Whatever I did, it'd be my own fault.
I have gone around our village countless times on my bike. Whenever I fell, I'd get scrapes on my knees, elbows, and hands, from trying to break my fall. But my parents and my grandma would always be there to pick me up, though the damage was already done. It breaks their hearts to see me fall, to see me get hurt. But still, they'd let me bike, because that was what I loved to do.
They didn't want me to go biking anymore, and if I really wanted to bike again, the next time, I'd have to be more careful, they warned.
Analogy.
Yes. I am in deep trouble. I need your help.
I know what to do, but it's not what I want to do. Still, it is the proper thing to do.
As much as I would want to continue doing this, I have to set my priorities straight. If I continue doing this (I don't want to say this), I will surely lose my way again.
Pinatikim lang ako, kumbaga. Lesson raw ito.
Love: check.
Want: check.
Need: _____
Don't worry, Mummie Kris. I haven't decided yet. Yet.
The other day, as, well, I don't even remember where I saw it now.. there was a taxi (or even a FX, memory's fuzzy, sorry) that had this verse plastered across its body:
Matthew 6:33-34.
I am sure that the "sign" had been sent to me just this week, because I remember looking at it, and thinking, I wish I had one of those Bible apps (which I am currently trying to download) on my phone... But I forgot to look it up as soon as I got home.
I did so, just a minute ago, and, lo and behold, this is what I've found.
"33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
I can't believe that this couldn't have come at a better time.
Relating this to my acads, I figured out, that I should try to do my best in whatever subject I'm enrolled in. Kumbaga, gawin ko na raw muna ang dapat kong gawin, hindi yung inaalala ko yung mangyayari kapag hindi ko ito nagawa. I swear, this is for PI 100. I should do well in my acads. I must.
Relating to matters of the heart, well, I think that God is trying to tell me what my Mum had been telling me for the past...well, let's not count. My interpretation is that God wants me to be the best I can be for the person He has planned out for me to be with, forever. That love isn't supposed to be fleeting, that when you plan to love a person, you should be prepared to back your intentions up with actions, and not just mere words. He wants me to know that I'll receive what I deserve. Seeking to be a good sister, a good daughter, a good friend, a good servant, should be my priority. That, I shouldn't be rushing into things.
All will come, in due time.
And I must prepare for what's coming, and not be anxious, for there is no reason to.
I am reminded once more, to put God first, before all others. For it is because of His goodness that I am here, for it is because of Him that I know you, my friends, that I love and need.
Now, I look forward to everything. The problems I'm about to face are testament that I've got reasons to live. The laughter that will ring out along the way will be because I am enjoying the journey I'm having, towards the bright future that God has planned out for (you and) me.
I don't know where my thoughts have been, lately.
Confusion. Disappointment. Taking advantage.
I shouldn't, I can't. But I want to.
Falling for you.
*Thud*
Broken ribs, a weakened heart.
That's what I'll get if I let this start.
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I don't deserve what I have right now. Awesome friends, a supporting family, and good opportunities. I feel like I'm living in a dream. Sure, there are the sad bits, days where I feel like the world has put itself on my shoulders...but even those are tests that I don't deserve - things that make me strong, chances to improve. If you've seen the real me, you'd really not want to be a part of the mess.
But there's Somebody up there who believes in me, and that's all that I need to know.
I don't want to let Him down.
I have been having awesome dreams for the past week.
These are but a few of what I can remember.
DREAM 1.
I dreamt that I was a housekeeper in this cool condo unit. It consisted of two-three floors, and its walls and floors seemed like it was tiled with obsidian. On the unit's first floor, there was this fountain that ran in front of a huge window, and there were 3 huge ottomans on the floor, all in neon colors. I was wearing the kinky French maid costume, but it was all pink. Hey, I had no control over what I was wearing.
Anyways, my bosses were kind of like the Incredibles - a family of superheroes - sans costumes. There was an emergency, and they all got on the ottomans. They sprang from it to the window, shattering it into a million tiny pieces. I was left there until I finished cleaning. Then I was suddenly with my dad in our old black Mazda, and we were stuffing coke into my brother's bag. Cocaine. In our dream, we had this factory in I-don't-know-where, and we were going to personally ship the drugs to a yacht in the pier. I distinctly remember that the drug was all over the floor, and I was scooping it up bit by bit to intert it into my brother's backpack's straps. We were caught by the police, who were wearing black uniforms, kind of like in the olden days in America. I didn't know what else happened, but we didn't go into prison. Maybe that's 'cause the dream ended after that. :D Biruin niyo. Drug dealer ako sa panaginip ko. HAHAHAHA >:))
DREAM 2.
Kanina lang.
There are just a few bits of these dreams that I can remember. I remember sitting on bleachers, waiting for something, but we weren't watching any game or whatever. The bleachers were just there. They were painted a dark forest green, and they were all made of metal. kind of like the bleachers in my old HS. I remember...wait. G2G! :D Finish this later. :-*
I can define love by telling you the things that it is not. I cannot tell you what love is, but only describe the circumstances where I see it. Here goes nothing.
Love is not a feeling, it is not emotion. Joy is an emotion entailed by love, whereas the butterflies in our stomach is a feeling, but that is not love, it is part of the biological experiences that occur whenever we get nervous.
Love is not infatuation, for infatuation is shallow, and it is not based on anything solid. Infatuation lingers, but dies out because of time, because of reasons expelled by the physical world. But love is not like that - rather, love is a result of a complex series of events that happens over a long period of time. It can be said that love is not present in the beginning of a relationship, because love is built up, block by block.
Some say love is eternal, and some say otherwise. I think that love is not eternal, but it is made so because of the commitment one shares with another. The commitment makes you stay together because you have to, but you can choose not to, and leave. But, eventually, love will make you stay because you want to.
Love isn't what the commercialized movies say it is - it is far deeper and profound than anything that will be caught on film. When it is genuine, you can sense it from a mile away.
Love isn't about how much you give. It is about giving, and not expecting anything in return. It is being grateful that you were able to share, even though you did not get anything back. In some way, love is sacrifice.
I think that love is not about feeling good - because the real lovers are the ones who experience pain. I'm not saying that pain is love, I am pointing out that love also entails pain, especially when it is true and pure.
Love does not destroy. On the other hand, it nurtures and brings to life.
And 'ere is love, according to the Holy Bible.
1 Cor 13:1-13
"I may be able to speak the languages of human beings and ven of angels, but if I have no love, my speech is no more than a noisy gong or a clanging bell. I may have the gift of inspired preaching, I may have all knowledge and understand all secrets; I may have all the faith needed to move mountains - but if I have no love, I am nothing. I may give away everything I have, and even give up my body ot be burned - but if I have no love, this does me no good.
Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope and patience never fail.
Love is eternal. There are inspired messages, but they are temporary; these are gifts of speaking in strange tongues, but they will cease; there is knowledge, but it will pass. For our gifts of knowledge and of inspired messages are only partial; but then what is perfect comes, then what is partial will disappear."
UUUGGGGHHHHRRRRR.
Here's a list of my most favored actors e v e r.
Order: I just type the first person that comes to mind.
HEATH LEDGER
-The Brothers Grimm, can't remember anything else without being sad. :(( Sana si K-Fed na lang na-chorva.. JOOOKE.
Johnny Depp
-Secret Window, Edward Scissorhands...which led to Sweeney Todd. lol.
Nicholas Cage
-Matchstick Men, National Treasure, Knowing.
Christian Bale
-dragon something... can't remember. Batman. Duh. The Prestige. Awesome.
Mark Wahlberg
-The Departed, The Italian Job
LEONARDO DiCaprio (Maybe I should spell my DeCastro like that. Whoa - it's gorgeous!!) lol
-The Beach, The Departed, William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.
OHMYGAWD-ADAMSANDLER. :D
-Click, Spanglish, Little Nicky, Hot Chick, SNL
John Cho
-Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay. :)))
James Franco
- Pineapple Express >:D EPIC.
Chris Evans
-Cellular (?), Fantastic4, wala lang hot lang siya (yummmmmmmmmm) lol
James McAvoy
-f*ck kailangan ba talagang puro "J"????...Wanted, Starter for 10.
Liam Neeson
-Taken
Jeremy Irons
-Eragon, Elizabeth
The Kid From Eragon
-Eragon
Hugh Dancy
-Elizabeth
ALMOSTFORGOTSHIALABEOUF.
-Transformers, Eagle Eye
(Wanted to post pics but Multiply makes it hell to do so. Ang hirap. Wordpress na me. BB.)
Can you answer 50 questions about the 1st person that comes into your mind right now?
Don’t change the person.
Does he or she have a boyfriend/girlfriend??
IDK
How old is the person?
22+
Has he/she ever cooked for you?
Imagining him in an apron...kinda bagay. :P The answer is no. :)
Is this person older than you?
Y
Have you ever kissed this person?
Not YET? :d
Are you really close to him/her?
Not really. If you're talking about distance, at one point, I was reaaally close. :| Corny.
How many times do you talk to this person in a week?
2? There was a week where I talked to him about 4 times. Pleading, actually.
Do you think they will repost this?
Who's "they"?
Could you live with this person?
PUWEDEHHHH. :P
Why did you choose this person?
You told me to write about the first person that comes to mind. He was the first person to come to mind. He actually didn't come, he has been there for as long as forever. >:| Banas, ayaw magpaallis.
How long have you known this person??
'Bout 3++ months?
Have you ever been to the mall with this person?
We were in the same mall at the same day, but we weren't together, so does that count?
Have you ever had a sleepover with this person?
>:) Not yet. OPS GUSTO?? :D Pero I had this one dream about him, he was bugging me about something. Really. Pati ba naman sa pagtulog ko susundan ko ako?? ---> kapal mode.
If you ever moved away would you miss this person?
Not really, no. :|| Bad siya eh. Pero where I live is not related naman eh.
Have you ever done something really stupid or illegal with this person?
UHM. I have done something stupid and.... :D
Do you know everything about this person?
Not really, no.
Would you date this person’s siblings?
If they were guys?
Have you ever made something with this person?
No, why are the questions leading my mind towards GREEN-er pastures? HMM?
Have you ever worn this person’s clothes?
NO. =))
Have you and your person made up a hand shake?
Natawa ako doon. Ang hirap imadyinin.
If it was “freaky friday” would you switch bodies with this person?
HAHA :D Stop asking things like thiss!!! Makes me think... >:)))
YES. Horrible. Kidding! Opposite nga eh. But that's me, I don't think that's what everybody else would feel...tama pa ba grammar ko??
Do you and this person have a saying?
What?
Do you know this persons f'ster password?
No.
Have you and this person ever gotten into a fight?
Y
Have you and this person gone clubbing?
He's done more clubbing than I can handle. I like to drink and have fun, he likes to strut around and stuffffff. :|| Malandi!!
Do you know how to make this person feel happy?
Y
Do you and this person talk a lot?
Not really, no.
Do you like this person?
Yeah. We're supposed to.
Do you want to go out with this person??
Ok lang siguro.
Do you want to be friends with them forever?
Ang landi!
Who is this person?
Ano ba.
And you've only just walked out the door.
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The last days of the second semester were the most thrilling of all. Albeit late, I always rushed to get to school for another reason, completely different from wanting to get to class on time. Sure, there were the practices for the Histo 4 class performance, but there was another cause for my usually hurried state.
I would often sit impatient on the bus from Las Piñas as it slugged through the route to Faura. I'd longingly gaze outside the window without end, without really looking at anything but the sky. I usually sit at the last two-seater on the right side of the bus, but I am fond of glancing at the other side of the thing whenever the bus passes through Coastal Road and the Manila Bay. I'd see the water and the wind, calmly making waves upon waves together..then I'd fall asleep and wake up just in time to fix myself up before going down Taft.
There were days when I'd think of this person that I (seldom) liked. He really isn't cute. Really. I don't want to believe it that he was the reason I'd always want to be in school (or be near the Bio Labs, for that matter). I dunno. I don't really know.
And it was confirmed that I was crushing on him when I felt my insides tie itself into little impossible knots when I saw him with his (rumored)* girl while we were on our way to Dencio's on the night of our performance for Histo 4.
I was the first one to lay eyes on them. :|
ELO (grrr) pointed them out tom me again, for it seemed that I wasn't able to see them the first time. Imagine my self-control as I forced myself to twist Elo's ears and drag him up the escalator while shouting horrid insults.
Anyway.
Shocked, dazed and confused, I put my thoughts together and decided not to look at them. A thing which I most certainly FAILED to do. What? I am only HUMAN. A gorgeous human, but still... >:)) haha!
I couldn't help looking at them as I went up the next escalator. I didn't hang around to greet him, I walked faster than all of them so I could avoid looking both of them in the eye. I thought, if ever he catches me looking at him, so help me God I will look at him with glaring eyes full of scorn. Actually, the first moment I saw him, he saw me, and I sort of gave a goofy smile, I think (and hope not). I hate me sometimes.
We were supposed to be celebrating that night, then BOOM. It all went blurry and incoherent.
I almost decided against eating, but then I remembered that if I took A- without eating, I'd get D- easily. So, I ate.
But THEY just wouldn't shoo from my mind. It was pure torture. Trying to imagine where they were going, what they were doing, and where they were doing it in. You see, I have a very vibrant imagination, so vibrant that it's alive, and you know that the majority of the living things here on Earth have the color GREEN on them. So in short, I am a bit (O RLY?) green minded. OKAY. My brain's as green as the grass in Spring.
But we had fun in Dencio's that night, and up until now, I still can't believe that with THOSE looks he has a girl -- este -- that with very little practice, we won the competition.
Ma'am treated us to pizza the very next Tuesday. And I hadn't realized that that would be the last class for forever.
Message: Fellow lovers of film:
I would like to raise a very important issue regarding film viewing. Unfortunately, a lot of people are not aware of this. ASPECT RATIO AND PROJECTION SIZE!
Local movie houses nowadays are not observing proper aspect ratio and projection size. THEY ARE PROJECTING THE MOVIE BIGGER THAN THE SCREEN. What happens is that the image is being cut by about 30 percent. We are not seeing the film properly, the way the director intended us to see it.
Mapapansin ninyo ito kapag tumingin kayo sa kurtina sa edge ng screen. Pag may nakita pa kayo na movie sa kurtina ibig sabihin noon eh mali ang projection.
I have tried to bring this matter to the attention of the movie houses but they are ignoring this. One projectionist even said that GANYAN TALAGA YAN. Putang ina, gusto pa akong gawing tanga. I'm sorry about the profanity but I was really angered by this kind of attitude.
Eh kahit sinong tao na nakagamit na ng overhead projector eh maiisip na it's all a matter of adjusting the distance of the lens to the light source.
SM Cinemas and Robinson Cinemas are doing this dastardly act.
Please do not patronize these establishments. Or please bring this matter to their attention perhaps we could make enough noise to rattle these arrogant moviehouse owners.
This kind of arrogance is also a factor why people are no longer too excited to watch movies in theaters. They are being shortchanged.
Please spread this message guys. If you have friendster, multiply, or facebooks accounts, please pass this.
Filipinos need to be informed of this kind of incompetence. If you also know movie directors, actors, and producers, please tell them about this. I am sure movie directors would hate to find out that their films are not being shown properly. If you know writers like Nestor Torre, tell them too.
It is time we put a stop to this stupidity. If you love cinema, please spread the word. If you want to get your money's worth, please spread this. Hopefully makinig ang mga Sy at Gokongwei.
Thank you very much.
Joey Ogatis
Department of Arts and Communication
University of the Philippines Manila
Argumentum ad hominem. An attack to the personal situation of the adversary. China. Philippines.
Frankly, as a daughter of the Philippine Islands, I am gravely insulted by this statement. I feel that the article concerning this message was not written by a mind who was unclouded by greed. Greed, because, there would be no other reason for it. Perhaps, the penholder was envious? But, who would be jealous of a nation of domestic helpers, one of corrupt government officials commanding ignorants in disarray? Perhaps we are a nation of such people, but we are a nation with people who are faithful and humble, who serve not their domineering masters but their own hearts that beat for their families who have no food on their tables. We are a people who suffer for the ones we love, working endlessly and neglecting even our own necessities just to give our families what they need.
As a whole nation, the Filipinos do not count as much when compared to others. But if you look into each and every one of our souls, you'd see hearts overwhelming with love. You'd probably pity even yourself for not being able to comprehend the sacrifice that each person from this forsaken country endures.
Cleaning toilets, babysitting, and driving cars may not be much, but these are jobs that the Filipino is willing to do for the good of his or her family. The majority of our people do not receive six-figure salaries, but what we do is honorable, what most of our professions are based on what's fair and just.
If the case of the Spratlys will be fought on grounds of military power, or of racial superiority, then the Filipinos will have little to combat with. But think of this: insults and discrimination have won nothing. And it will continue to be that way till kingdom come.
We are servants, servants of God and nobody and nothing else.
Miley Cyrus is disgusting. And I say this not out of envy, not out of jealousy or whatever.
IT JUST IS.
Moving on. We're all going to Tanauan. So if you need to reach me, just pm me on my phone.
Car's here. Gotta go!
"B" R E N T!!!!
I'LLMISSYOU. :-**
histo4!! lol.
I will miss your bitchyness.
Whenever I step towards the gate, you welcome me with your high-pitched yelps.
With bulging eyes, you growl with Dana at me, who's just trying to go inside Ness' house to hang.
I know, if you had been given the chance, you'd bite my leg off or maul me or something. Although I loved you, you did not reciprocate the same thoughts back to me.
But I will always miss you and your cuteness, the silence I hear whenever you are calm, the peace you brought to my friend Ness and her family while they were resting, sleeping under your guard.
I will miss you forever, dear Peppur, my all-time favorite bitchy Pincher.
Sweet dreams, be still.
LOVE,
Ab.
AYNAKOGETSNIYONADAPAT YAN.
Sorry if my title doesn't make any sense. Got my brains vacuumed by the PHILO I test we had earlier this day. The choices were a RELIEF. :||
But I am aching because of an entirely different ailment - one of the heart.
UGGH drama. Tell you all about it later. Right now, I have to do this Manual thing :|
Thanks to Sir Lapuz. SO MUCH :|
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highlight!!
I hope you have 'nough brains to guess.
He makes me wish I could start the sem all over again. :(( :-* ;">
Feelings:
-Disappointment
-Anger
-Pity
You. Sht. Wala akong masabi. I thought...never mind.
I just can't believe you didn't choose to keep it to yourself or something.
Ang galing. Yun na lang. Ang galing mo talaga. >:'/
I know you only told the truth, but did it have to sting so much?
It's official. I label the past day as the dumbest one in my whole life.
I started the day at 5 am to prepare for the Histo 4 presentation we had at the LT. I put on my black dress and tried to put on Mark's Knights shirt, seeing if it fit me, which it did. I put it and another purple thing in my bag, along with the purple dress I love. Rushing, I very hastily took a bath then headed to the room where my things were. I had to print out copies of the script and the lyrics, as well as the list of readings that Ma'am Jose had assigned our group, books that I have to look for at UPD that day.
My dad brought me to the bus stop where I immediately boarded a bus heading to Taft. I was nearly 2 kilometers away from the bus stop when I suddenly assumed that I was not able to bring the list of readings which were crucial to our report on Monday.
AHBASTA. LATER NA.
...more to come in just a short while. Wait for ten days. 'Kay?
Ay. I just couldn't help myself.
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O, ayan nanaman yung linyang yan.
Siyempre joke lang yon. What I mean is, crush ko na talaga si-A.
Ok? Ok. Kasi naman. Nasaan na ang standards mo, ineng? :|
Bakit ba. Cute naman si-A eh. Lalo na kapag madilim!
Hindi katulad ni "Daddy" at ni "Bebe". Nako, ang rami kasing umaangkin kay "Bebe", tapos mas malandi pa sa akin si "Daddy". Biruin niyo yon. :|||
Anywho.
Lol talaga.
Tall, dark and hot. Tae, ano ito, bulkan? Corny. Sorry, nerd. Malanding nerd. :D
Pero biruin niyo yun, kahit hindi si-A hot, iba-iba yung nakikita kong kasama niyang girl.
At si-A seryosong lalaki ito ha. Sht. :D Sa wakas! Nakahanap na rin. Joke. Hindi katulad ng iba diyan. Nakakadisappoint siLa. :|| >:(
RH 313. lols. Ang cute niya noon, with the polo shirt and everything. AND YOU KNOW HOW I AM WITH POLOS. As Kuya Carlo would say.... "Yii yii yii!!"
:) "Habulin mo 'ko!!!"
Sht ang flirt ko forever.
Hi Loise. Naalala lang kita. *ahem* I really don't know why, bi. lol. I love you! Forever. And ever. No more, no less. I miss you!
BABBLEBABBLEBABBLE. Diliman 8-10, then Arags for histo3 back at Ma-Ma-Ma-Manila. After all that...(dendendenden...) Taxo Lab Long Quiz (boogg). Wow. At hindi pa ako nag-aaral!
Then I have so much sht due on Monday. Wala na raw extend-extend. Oh, saklap this life.
Excited na akong mag-4 p.m. ng March 20, 2009. Sobra. :-*
:-* Another kiss to the first person who'll be reading this. >:) Ayan, nagpapaunahan na silang mga PP ko. ILC este Y!!
So here's what I have learned from the movie.
You can't force love. You can't make it go back, or make it go away. The only thing you can do is to act upon it.
When you've set our heart on something, you can't ever make it leave your mind.
People do not stay the same.
Love isn't finding what you want, it's finding what you need.
Love really does not know any bounds. Andbody can fall for anyone. It's all just a matter of letting yourself go.
We can't have everything all at once.
A little comedy and suspense should be present in a person's life.
Love always finds a way.
People do anything they can in their power (or others') to get what they want.
Three Smiles of a Summer Night, the film by my favorite, acclaimed director Ingmar Bergman tells a story of love, deceit, undecisiveness, revenge and manipulation. But all's well that ends well. They all live happily ever after - eventually. They (well, the ladies) manipulate their husbands/partners into being/doing what they want.
The movie was one of the best classics I've watched in a while. :)
Very inspirational. A must-see.
